How my day is going…

…shitty, actually.  I know it’s St. Patty’s Day and Spring Break starts and the NCAA Tournament is on, but my day is shitty.  Partly because I am sitting here at work.  Which leads to why my day is shitty.

So, I walk in this morning after class.  I don’t even have my coat off and I get the message “Lazy Fuck needs to talk to you.”  Shit.  OK, let me clock in, and I’ll see what he needs.  So I go see him, only to find out that the clerk at court screwed me over.  He let me schedule an emergency motion, then took today off so my attorney goes into court with his dick in his hands!  FUCK ME MAN!

Then, I am sent to look for a document.  I look and look through the court file.  It’s not there.  “Oh, the rest of that is in chambers.”  Fuck, so I go up there, wait an hour, then see the file.  I get what I think I am supposed to get, only to find out that we had the document at the firm the entire time!  FUCK YOU, FATASS – DO YOUR OWN WORK, PLEASE!

Anyway, I am on my way back to court…fatass decided it was the wrong document.  I bet we have this one back at the office too.  FUCK, I REALLY NEED A BEER!  WHAT A FUCKING DAY!

Random Rant

FUCK ME, MAN.  My roomate is so fucking lazy.  All he does is go out at night, then sleep on the couch all fucking day!  He has no motivation, no self-worth – I mean, he doesn’t even have a job lined up for the summer yet!  He watches Sci-Fi bullshit and horrible fucking movies on HBO all day – not even March Madness.

He doesn’t clean up after himself.  He can somehow get the dishes into the kitchen, but no further.  I’m talking about right next to the sink, but not in it.  I’m talking right above the dishwasher, but not in it.  FUCK MAN! GET OFF YOUR LAZY FUCKING ASS AND DO SOMETHING!  I DON’T CARE WHAT IT IS, JUST DO SOMETHING!

But that, in my mind, isn’t the worst part of the whole laziness bit.  All that shit is mere annoyance compared to what I am going to tell you now.  His room is right by the door, away from the couch and living room.  He hasn’t washed his sheets in weeks at least (probably months), so there is the general odor of a foot by the door.  Just musty, like the “sleeping people smell” we all remember from college.

It gets worse – he spends so much time on the couch before he showers for the day that the couch is beginning to smell like a foot too!  HOLY FUCKING SHIT!  With the exception of my room, my whole apartment smells like ass, and it’s not even my fault.  No wonder my fiancee won’t come over here.  Get off your ass, motherfucker.  Clean up, shave, do your laundry.  I hate the fact that you don’t get anything done.  If I had known you were so lazy, I wouldn’t have agreed to live with you this year.

Phew, I feel better.  I guess I should go talk to him instead of ranting on the Internet.  FUCK!  I’m going to have a beer!

Why I hate the protest today

OK, so there is this huge protest going on in Chicago today.  The dirty Mexicans are protesting the effort to curtail immigrant rights here in America along with other immigrant groups.  Personally, I don’t really understand why they are doing this.  If we crack down on it, they are still coming here.  And, because they are not citizens, they have no rights.

Fuck off, go home.  You dirty fucking people.  And, if you are going to stay here, learn fucking English.  Otherwise, Fuck You!

My Dilemma

I have a question to ask those of you that may or may not have discovered my blog yet.  It is this: should I let my friends in on this blog, or should I make them find this and remain anonymous?

In other news, I got hammered last night in trial ad.  Of course, it all began because I was unprepared for class.  (This seems to be a recurring theme this semester.)  Anyways, I forgot to do some of the things that were really important in a bribery case.  The most important being to have my witness detail the conversation where the bribe took place!  What the fuck was I thinking?  That, my friends, we will probably never know.  Then I went out and got drunk.  Seemed like the right thing to do.

What the FUCK is going on?

OK, it’s 6:45 here in Chicago, and I have no idea what the fuck is going on in my Commercial Paper class.  Not only do I have no iea what is going on, I haven’t read in 3 weeks!  So, instead of paying attention, I am blogging.  Here are my in class thoughts…

6:48 p.m. – that white skirt looks good on the girl in front of me.  She has a nice tight ass, and I would love to give her a money shot.  I bet she would look good with my dick in her mouth.  Did my professor just say “I don’t want to get ahead of myself” for like the 1,000th time in this class?

7:04 p.m. – did anyone see that story from Arizona where the fire chief or marshall or something like that got busted for fucking his neighbor’s sheep?  What a sick fuck!  And what a sick fucking world we live in!  I don’t care how drunk I get, or anyone gets, there shouldn’t be enough alcohol in the world for someone to think a sheep looks good.  Where did you come up with that idea, you sick fucking bastard?  The state should cut your balls off as punishment, and then make you eat them.  Then we can hang you by your dick until you die.  You sick fucking bastard.  I hope you rot in hell.

7:28 p.m. – I wonder if my professor died in his office.  We were to take a 15 minute break, 25 minutes ago.  Still not here, and he’s really old.  Damn, no A for me in this class.  He came back to us at 7:30 p.m.

7:30 p.m. – the “coke” fiend just burped out loud in class.  Yep, almost as good as if he’d farted in class.  But not quite.  However, he did pick the right class to do it in.  Commercial Paper needs comic relief in a bad fucking way.  Kind of like how “Crash” needed comic relief, but didn’t have any.  Now, if you sat through “Crash,” I commend you – now you know what it is like to sit through Commercial Paper.

7:50 p.m. – I really need a beer.  Make that two.  It’s been a shitty fucking day.

8:02 p.m. – I want an X-Box 360.  I really do.  Even though I know I should wait for the PS3 and its better line-up of RPGs.  But I really want a new video game console.

8:17 p.m. – even though I have a deep and intense hatred of Texas, I have to give them this – they have some witty judges.  Almost as good as Scalia.  http://www.txwb.uscourts.gov/opinions/opdf/05-56485-lmc_King.pdf

Sometimes, work really chaps my ass…

Like yesterday.  I had a partner on my ass because Cook County courts were closed.  Is that my fault?  Do I set the court calendar?  Of course not, so son’t take it out on me.

Maybe you were frustrated by a bad sexual experience.  Maybe your husband lost his erection while fucking you because he got disgusted that you are fat.  Maybe you have a yeast infection.  Maybe you are on the rag?  I don’t know, but I do know this – don’t take your shitty fucking day out on me.  You were the only confused by the Chicago Tribune article.  Somehow, we all got the message.  So in the interest of saving face, you try to make a clerk feel bad?

Fuck you, partner.  I hate your fucking guts.

Why is iTunes such a pain in the ass?

So, I finally have a day of of school, work, and my volunteer job all at the same time.  Yes that’s right, I volunteer as well.  Fuck off.  Anyways, like I said, I finally had a day to take care of things that have just been getting pushed off.  That included going to the Apple Store here in town and having them look at my iPod to see what the fuck was wrong with it.  Turns out, the hard drive was fucking fried and I got a new iPod.

Which brings me to my current rant: Why is transferring your music that you purchased from iTunes, this so-called “protected content,” to a new computer such a pain in the fucking ass?  I have no fucking clue.  I know Apple justifies it by citing the fact that it deals with their license, blah, blah, blah, and shit like that.  Yet they let us burn that purchased , our precious “protected content,” to a blank CD and so that we can then whatever the fuck we want with it.

So, instead of making me put the iPod into disk mode, and all sorts of other things, why not let me put my music onto the new iPod, deregister the old computer, hook everything up on the new one, and register the iPod and authorize the computer?  Would that be so fucking hard to do anyway.  I am the one who purchased the license.  It’s my fucking music, and I can do whatever the fuck I want to with it.  This also includes me putting my own music on multiple computers that I own!  Did you ever think of that one, that someone, somewhere, might own more than one computer and want to have his music on the computers that he owned?  Apparently not.

Anyway, Apple, that is what is known as the “Fair Use” doctrine.  Under this doctrine, I can do whatever the fuck I want to with this music once I purchase it.  I could take a shit on it if I wanted to.  I can burn a copy to back up the data.  I could shove it up my ass.  I could shove it up your ass.  I could, not that I am going to, give it to my friends, so they could put it on their iPods.  Now, while I might get in trouble for some of those things, I can still do them.  However, I don’t want to place this shit on the internet.  All I want to do is “space-shift” my CD collection to a digital form so that I can take all of thme with me.  I also want this ability on my new computer, not my old piece of shit Dell.  (Another, forthcoming rant).  I don’t want to spend the time importing music from CD’s I burned to back up your “protected content.”  I JUST WANT THIS SHIT ON MY NEW FUCKING COMPUTER, AND I WANT TO DO IT WITH MY NEW FUCKING IPOD!  WHY IS THIS SO FUCKING HARD?

Apple, if you are going to sell music on the fucking internet in digital form, at least give me my full rights that I am entitled to under the law of copyright.  If not, I’ll still use your product, but simply because there is nothing better out there.  But when there is something better out there, you can be sure that I will take my “protected content” with me to that new whatever-the-fuck-service-is-better-than-iTunes that pops up.  Wow, I need a fucking beer.  What a fucking day!

OK, so I am officially re-fucking-tarded, part 2

I have trial ad tonight.  I have to conduct a cross-examination at trial ad tonight.  I left my material for tonight at home.  I am at work.  I will be at work until 5:00 p.m.  Home is at least at 15 minute bus ride each way.  Class begins at 5:50 p.m.  Think I’ll make it home and back in that time?  I don’t.

The reason why I don’t have the material with me – I thought that my fiancee and I would actually go over it last night.  What the fuck was I thinking?  I don’t know – we never work on school together.  So, why did I think last night would be any different?  I have no idea.  I should have just left things at school, and then I wouldn’t be in this predicament.

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is another reason why I really am the retarded law student.

OK, so I am officially re-fucking-tarded

If you wanted proof that I really am the retarded law student, you now have your proof.  I signed up to run the Soldier Field 10 mile race over Memorial Day Weekend.  What the fuck was I thinking?  I have no idea, but just use it as further proof that I am the retarded law student.

To start my training, I think I’ll go run go have a beer.

Weekend Update

NO DRAMA!  The parental units met their future in-laws and there was no drama!  I guess I built it up to be something that it wasn’t.  Maybe I thought that since all movies and TV shows portray meeting the in-laws as horrible, something bad would happend this weekend.  Maybe I wanted something bad to happen just so I had a story to tell everyone on Monday morning.  But, thankfully I might add, nothing happened.

However, alcohol was involved at all functions.  Maybe this kept us from getting too deep with each other.  Maybe it kept us from pissing each other off.  I don’t really know, but I am glad that things went well.  Almost too well – the whole situation really couldn’t have gone better.  So, tonight, to celebrate, I am going to get drunk.  I mean, totally fucking sauced.